“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

I’m grateful we’re starting to get more comfortable talking about the importance of self-love as a foundation for living our best lives personally and professionally. If you’re like me, you somehow gained the belief that self-love was selfish! When you look at an actual definition, it becomes clear how mistaken that idea is.

Definition: Self-love is the practice of caring for and valuing yourself in a healthy, positive way. It involves a deep sense of self-acceptance, respecting your own needs and feelings, and treating yourself with kindness and compassion. It means acknowledging your worth and taking actions that support your well-being. It’s about fostering a strong, loving relationship with yourself, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and being your own ally through life’s challenges. 

And the problem is?

It’s clear that self-love makes positive and healthy relationships possible. 

  • When we can embrace ourselves fully with compassion and respect, we are able to bring that to others. 
  • When we can nurture ourselves, engage in positive self-talk, and forgive ourselves when we make mistakes, we can bring that to others. 
  • When we live our lives authentically, taking time to reflect on what’s important and meaningful and being grateful for our gifts and achievements, we experience more confidence and can be of greater service to others. 

Feeling love and compassion for ourselves and others is a practice. All of us have experienced disappointments and trauma. We’ve encountered expectations at work and in our personal lives that are at odds with our values. Our needs have been ignored. We’ve been judged or blamed for things we didn’t do. We’ve felt guilt and shame for things we did do. We’re human. We don’t control most of what happens in life. What we can influence is what we let in and how we respond to it. 

“You can’t rely on how you look to sustain you. What sustains us, what is fundamentally beautiful, is compassion—for yourself and for those around you.” Lupita Nyong’o

Knowing that at our core, we’re inherently lovable and valuable is incredibly important. That encourages good decision-making and resilience when things don’t work out the way we hoped. It enables us to let go of unhealthy or toxic relationships or situations and establish healthier boundaries. Self-love encourages personal growth and leads us to live more loving, fulfilling, happier lives. We are able to support others with grace, purpose, and authenticity. 

So, what’s love got to do with it? Just about everything.