When was the last time you either said or heard someone say, “I’m sorry, I got nothin’”… when talking with someone about almost any topic? How often does that happen? Most of us have an opinion or advice on almost anything, even when we have little or no knowledge of or experience with the topic or situation. What if, instead of sharing our thoughts, we took a moment to pause, reflect, and ask a question? What if we got curious? 

We form the habit early on to respond almost instantly to a question or request for advice. I know I fall into that trap. Fortunately, less so since I’ve trained as a coach, but it still happens more often than I like to admit! I have to remind myself that I know next to nothing when it comes to what’s in someone else’s best interest unless I’ve “walked a mile in their moccasins.” Even then, everyone is different, and my experience or information may not apply to their situation. 

The temptation to help our partners, friends, family members, co-workers, clients, neighbors – whomever – can be almost impossible to resist. We care, and we truly think we have something that could support them. That’s quite possible! 

So, get curious. This is especially important if you are a leader. Ask questions that could support that person to discover the answer for themselves. And, if you do have information you believe would be helpful, ask if they’d like to hear it. If the answer is yes, share away!

Here’s the caveat: once you’ve shared your advice or opinion, let it go. What they do with it is not your business. Give out of the goodness of your heart, then smile and wish them well. Of course, if you are in a supervisory position, there’s a little more to it. But you get the gist. 

There are so many times I wish I had kept my own counsel. That I would have said, “Sorry, I got nothin’,” or asked before I offered my ideas. Like all of us, I am a work in progress. 

When you consider what I’ve shared, how might it support you? I’m curious. If I can be helpful, I would love to hear from you.