When was the last time you felt that prickly sense of dread when faced with the decision to speak up? You just weren’t sure that would be a good idea. What did you choose? How did it go?

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t faced that dreaded decision in their work and personal relationships, no matter what the situation or role. When considering whether or not to share an opinion or their feelings, they push the pause button. Why? My guess? Fear of consequences. 

Sometimes, the fear of disappointing someone, or losing their love or respect, overrides even our most ardent desire to share something important. At work, more than one program has been derailed because someone didn’t speak up, or did and was ignored or criticized. 

So, how do you know when to speak up and when to shut up? The answer is dependent on so many factors, and yet they all come down to one thing – trust. 

Do you trust yourself to share your thoughts with respect, clarity and skill? Do you trust the other person, or persons, to receive your ideas with respect, clarity and skill? If they don’t or can’t, are you prepared to receive their response with compassion and curiosity, both for yourself and them? If yes, speak up! If no, it’s time to shut up (for now), and wait. Timing is everything. So is learning how to communicate effectively. 

Bottom line, healthy communication is at the heart of every successful relationship, whether with one person or an audience of thousands. Knowing when to speak up, and when to shut up (for now), is essential. Many of us learn this through trial and error. Fortunately, you can make a different choice. You can develop the personal and professional insight and ability to communicate what is important to you and receive whatever the response is, with respect, clarity, and skill. You can gain the trust in yourself to know when to speak up, and when to shut up (for now), by making the commitment to grow and putting in the time and effort. You’re going to make mistakes on occasion. We all do. This is not a one-and-done type of experience. When you do, that is the signal to bring deep empathy to yourself and the others involved. So, you can’t lose, because that’s pretty cool all by itself!

If you’d like to gain greater insight, and the ability to choose when to speak up and when to shut up (for now), I’d love to support you! I can be reached at Andrea@AndreaBeaulieu.com. Until then, be well!